Yarn Along

This post is linked to the Yarn Along, hosted by Ginny of Small Things.

• Reading: Spiritual Midwifery
• Knitting: a cotton feather and fan shawl

I've been flipping through Spiritual Midwifery by Ina Mae Gaskin.  The copy I have used to be my mom's.  It is full of groovy births, beautiful pregnant women, lots of long hair (and longer beards), and uses words like powerful, psychedelic, heavy, and out-of-body experience to describe birth.   The women don't have contractions, they have "rushes" and as they are dilating they are "getting into the groove."  It is so very rich with earth mother goodness.  

(Basically, my husband Christopher's hippie nightmare, but the kind of thing that makes me feel right at home).

I think I feel compelled to read it because my pregnancy this past trimester has been anything but "earth mother."  

Last week alone I had an ultrasound, two non-stress tests, and an appointment with my obgyn to check my cervix.  A stark contrast to the quiet, hands-off way I generally spend my pregnancies.  The gestational diabetes diagnosis changed a lot of things, including seriously stepping up the amount of medical care I'm under.

Now, I have no complaints about the quality of care I'm receiving.  I adore my obgyn and she and I have been through quite a bit together over the years.  I trust her.  I think the two of us, along with my husband, make a pretty good birthing team.


It is the intrusion on my time and my natural rhythms, all the interruptions and doctors visits, some that last upwards of 3 hours, that I resent. 

Those groovy, mellow birth stories in Spiritual Midwifery are helping me to find some balance - tapping into my earth mother side and letting me get to a place mentally that I need to be before the baby's birth story is written.

And, the shawl?  I guess I'm in a comfort food phase of knitting right now and the feather and fan pattern is my mac'n'cheese.

Both are helping me to find my own groovy place right now.