The Turning Point

• Note: updates at the end of this post (last updated January 2012)
• Read all of our Frugal Deeds (Done Dirt Cheap!) here

Picture this:
9:30p.m. Thursday evening.

Four fans are running, creating a hum so loud I can't hear myself think, and doing very little to cool the stifling room.

It is 90 degrees INSIDE my house.

I'm nursing the baby and we're both drenched in sweat.

Two of my children are sick and miserable with chickenpox. They are tossing and turning on the small mattress we've set in front of the window for them to sleep on. They are miserable from the heat and the itch. My whole family is sad, tired, and uncomfortable.

Chris and I are being short with each other. The AC is broken, our “Emergency Fund” isn't enough money cover the cost of the repairs and we both know that we are just one more disaster away from the breaking point. We feel like inadequate parents. We feel like our kids are paying the price for our financial shortcomings. It would really easy to point fingers and place blame, and in fact that is what we started to do.

Instead, we reached the turning point.

Never again.

Watching our children be miserable and not being able to do anything to make them more comfortable is unacceptable.

But there is even more to it than that.

Yes, we've been working really hard and yes, things could be a lot worse. But, things could also be so much better. In many ways we're working and making sacrifices and going through all the right financial motions but our situation isn't changing. We're just treading water. Yes, we aren't drowning but at this rate we're not going to make it to shore anytime soon either. To borrow a phrase from Dave Ramsey, we have not been attacking our debt and our financial sitaution with "gazelle intensity" by any means. We're been living on the edge so long we've gotten comfortable there.

To use another analogy: the fire has been allowed to go out, dwindled to embers, and now we need to fan the flames.

The fundamentals have been there (budgeting, cutting "extras" and working hard) - but they have been in the form of passionless to do lists and a budget we don't 100% commit to every month.  Chris and I used to sit down once a week and go over the budget together. Life "got busy" and we stopped doing that. We told ourselves that what we have been doing up until now has been more than many others are doing and so we are just fine.

But, when it is 90 degrees inside your house, your children are miserable, and you and your spouse are feeling angry and defeated, it is very difficult to tell yourself that things are fine and you can keep just treading water like you are and that eventually, somehow, you'll get to your goals.

"Eventually" isn't good enough.

Now is the time to become intense.

(perhaps as intense as the heat inside my house last Thursday night?)

...

Inspiration:

- "We're Debt Free" from Better Than I Deserve
- Simple Mom's Personal Finance 101

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Update December 31, 2009:

Since that horrible day when I wrote this post, real change has happened for Chris and I.  We have paid off just under $11,000 of debt since July 1, 2009.  We have more to go, for sure, but it feels so good to be making real, true progress.

Thank you to everyone for your prayers, kind words, and shared experiences. 2009 was a hard year for many of us. Yet, at the same time it was very inspiring to see how many of you rose to the challenges in your own lives.   Those kinds of stories give Chris and I hope for ourselves and inspire us to keep working hard, find ways to save, and make wiser decisions. I'm excited for 2010 and I hope you are, too!

We cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel yet, but we know that it is there.

Update March 22, 2010:

We have now paid off just over $21,000 and have our lowest debt GONE as of the end of February!  Chris and I are looking forward to adding that amount to our debt snowball every month and are anxious to see how long it takes to pay off the next debt in the line ...

Chris is working a LOT of overtime right now and he got an annual bonus that we put entirely toward our debt (something we've never done before!)   Right now our grocery budget is tiny and we're cleaning out the pantry for many meals, which I know will need to be re-stocked again. I don't know that we will always have three month periods of time where we throw $10K at our debt, in fact I'm sure this won't be the case for the rest of the year, but it sure feels awesome to have done so so far this year!

We've got a long way to go, but I know that my family can do this!  Thank you for your encouragement and for sharing your stories.  

Update June 30, 2010:

I can't believe it has been almost a year since that horrible day!  We're half-way through 2010 and SO close to our 2010 goal for $$ paid down on our debt (our goal was to have 1/3 of our debt gone by the end of 2010).

We've had a few issues come up, but thanks to having an Emergency Fund they have not been devastating financial events.  We pay for them, handle them, and then build our E.F. back up and get right back into rolling our debt "snowball."

We are striving to live on half of our income in order to throw as much money toward our debt as we can - getting out of debt with "gazelle intensity" as Dave Ramsey says.

Total Debt Paid as of today:
$29, 595.22

Update August 2010:

The months of August and September are always tight in our household.  This year is no exception.  We are still putting half of our income toward debt, but I have to admit to having moments where I really don't have my heart in this.  This is hard.  This is going to take a long time.  

We've paid off a smaller debt when we first started our snowball and are about 6 weeks away from having the next debt in line paid off.  This is encouraging, but after that, the debt we have remaining is going to take longer to pay off.  The next items in line are all 5 digit amounts (car loan, student loans, one last credit card). 

Knowing that it will take more time is daunting.  My "inner toddler" (as Dave Ramsey would say) is throwing a fit and screaming, "I don't wanna!"  And temptation, in the form of back-to-school sales on clothes I know my kids would look adorable in, wonderful sounding blogging conferences I'd love to attend, books I'd love to read that our library doesn't have yet, etc .... those temptations to buy things, spend money, justify things that are not needs but wants - those temptations are everywhere. 

I know we can do this, but sometimes the struggle wears me down.  I think Chris and I need to brainstorm some ways to get excited about this again so that we don't lose our intensity.  I need to find some ways to make this fun and enjoyable.  I need to silence the inner toddler.  This is a good thing we're doing for our family, after all. 

We've come so far, but we still have miles to go ....

Total Debt Paid as of today:
$33,089.07

Update July 2011:

We're still plugging away, living on half of our income.  It isn't always fun, but it is always an adventure!  

We were blessed this year in that my husband won an all expenses paid vacation to Hawaii.  That week gave us a nice break, but also a time to reflect and plan.  We feel recharged!  (and, don't worry, no budgets were harmed in the taking of that vacation - we didn't pay for anything and, in fact, came home with a little bit of money in our pockets because we were extra frugal with the meal stipend they gave us).

We still have quite a bit to go until we are entirely debt free, but we can see that we have made real, true progress in the past two years.  Our lives are changing.  We have the "debt free fever" for sure!  We haven't even finished paying off our debt snowball and we're already talking about how we're going to tackle our mortgage next.  It feels good.  We have hope.  And that helps on those days when I get sick and tired on living on half of our income, when the struggle doesn't seem worth it.

It is worth it.  Every penny.

  Total Debt Paid as of today:

$51,381.09

Update January 2012:

Here we are, a new year but still in debt.  We've got the "big" debts left - the student loans, the mortgage.  It can be easy to get discouraged and feel like we're not making progress as quickly as we were when we first started this debt-free journey.

I'll admit it, we slacked off a bit at the end of 2011.  Instead of living on half of our income, as we pledged we would until we got out of debt, we inched that number up and up until we weren't pushing our debt snowball very  hard at all.

2012 needs to be a year of focus, breaking down the big goals into little goals, as a wise friend recently reminded us.  Here's to making progress!

  Total Debt Paid as of today:

$56,983.75